A Letter to Elias

Dear Elias,

We went on a date last Saturday, you and I. Our first Mommy/son date. It is something your father and I had talked about doing for a long time….having purposeful quality time set aside for each of us with you two boys. I’ve had a lot of time alone with Simon since he was born, but I had never been able to do something alone with you. For ten months! There might have been one or two trips to the grocery store in there, but it’s not the same. I missed spending time with you and you alone.

Now that we’ve moved and made it through the holidays, I told your Daddy that it was time to schedule a date. A Mommy/son date. So we did.

The night before our date I asked you what you wanted to do for our special time together. “Painting” you answered right away. So I decided to take you to Ceramicafe in Beaverton so that you could paint some pottery.

When our date day came I was super excited. I put your brother down for a nap, got on my shoes and coat, and got you out the door. It was a relatively long drive to Ceramicafe, and you were not very talkative. But I was alright with that. I talked. And we listened to music. And I was just happy to be with you.

We got to the Ceramicafe and I let you choose anything you wanted to paint. You chose a small salad plate. Choosing the paint color was your favorite part, though. You wanted blue! We found a table, and began painting. When I got out the camera, you looked at me as if saying, “Come on, mom! Put that thing away. I’m painting here.”

But I snapped another one anyway just to prove I was there on this special date with you.

As I sat and watched you paint we talked about some of the things we were seeing in the store. There was a birthday party going on, and you really wanted a balloon. We talked about techniques for how to fill the whole space and get the outside blue. Some of the time I just watched you. And I realized something…

Here I was thinking the time was so special (and it was). But before your brother was born, it was how things were all the time. When it was just you… I of course enjoyed being with you. I have always loved staying at home with you. But I wished I had realized how special our time together was when I had hours and hours of it every day. Why does it always take losing something to realize how precious it is? I was momentarily filled with sadness. Then I realized I had better not waste our time together being sad! Besides, your Daddy and I have a plan for one date a month at least!

After we filled the plate with blue, you asked to go get another color. You chose a dark blue. Then again we went to choose, and you chose dark purple. When you declared your work finished, I wrote your name and the year so we would always know when you made your plate.

After cleaning up and a trip to the restroom, we walked a few stores down the row to Subway, and we got lunch. We got you a sandwich, apples, and water, and I let you choose any chips you wanted. You chose a bag of baked cheddar and sour cream ruffles. I was quite nervous about it because you are such a picky eater, and I guessed that those would have a pretty strong flavor. I chose baked lays for myself just in case you didn’t end up eating your chips.

You chose a booth, and we sat down to eat.

During lunch you kept asking where Daddy was. You also asked about Simon a few times. I have to admit I was a bit disappointed. There was a part of me who wanted to say, “who cares? This is our time together.” But I just answered that they stayed at home, and we are having a special date and then we’ll go home and all be together.

When it came time to eat chips, I anxiously watched you put that first chip up to your mouth. You took a bite, and an interesting expression came over your face. You declared, “They’re the perfect temperature!” I think you must have had your first experience with a bit of spiciness or something. I can’t figure out what else you may have been referring to. But…you took another bite. And another. You ate the whole bag! That just goes to show if you tried new things more often you might like them!

After lunch, I drove a few hundred yards to Safeway to get you a balloon. You were still talking about the birthday party balloons, and I thought it would be a special treat. We walked in and told you that you could choose any balloon you wanted. You took a long look at the wall of choices, and settled on the Elmo balloon. We called for help, and as the lady was filling your balloon, you were so excited you just could not contain yourself. You held your arms out to her and literally shook with glee. You held that balloon very tight on the way to the car, and I was just glad you would have something fun to remember our date by.

When we got home, Simon and Daddy were playing and watching football. We joined in and returned to life as normal. But I feel refreshed. Lighter on my feet. You are such a special boy, and I am so lucky to be your Mommy. I can’t wait until our next date!