Dispatches from Parenting

Without further ado, the collected Dispatches from Parenting:

  1. My son is the best baby in the history of humanity.
  2. I have changed over 1 million diapers in 37 hours.
  3. My wife is way tougher than me!
  4. Burping ain’t easy, but it’s necessary.
  5. I’m awake at 4:45am on a Sunday.
  6. The baby spits up now. I’m no longer safe in my own family.
  7. Bedtimes are essential in child-rearing. For the parents.
  8. We need phones that only have vibrate, no ring tones.
  9. I used to take showers every day.
  10. How did that get wet?
  11. I’m so focused on our son, I didn’t even realize that Major League Baseball playoffs have started.
  12. Waking up is always hardest for the first feeding.
  13. Is there anything more peaceful than a baby sleeping?
  14. I haven’t done this much laundry since I was a bachelor.
  15. The rules for changing a boy’s diaper are almost identical to the rules for handling guns safely.
  16. Going to bed early on a Friday night.
  17. Changing diapers is a state of mind.

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