I have to admit….. the first few days after I finished teaching summer school I felt a bit down. I really love teaching, and although it made the rest of my life a bit crazy, it was worth it. And I missed it. Getting back into our normal routine was difficult for me, and it made me crave the “action” that comes along with teaching…at the same time it made me feel guilty for wanting more for myself than taking care of my precious boy.
But we’ve settled in a bit now after a few days. I still hope to return to work full time one day, and I still hope to teach summer school next year. But for now… this is enough. This is the life I’ve been waiting for. Watching my son run around in the grass, listening to him show off his new counting skills, giving him opportunities to help me and to learn and grow, singing “If you’re happy and you know it” and watching him do the actions, having family picnics on perfect summer evenings, holding hands with my husband at the park. These things are enough.
K –
Don’t feel guilty for wanting to do some things like teaching — it is your gift, you have it in abundance, and you set a good example for Elias by making use of your gifts–not denying them. Doing summer school seems like a good fit while E. is young. Maybe when he starts school you can return to by substituting (which allows you great flexibility) or something.
Besides didn’t Elias get to spend his days with some of the other adults in his life who adore him and had a chance to teach him for a few weeks? It is generous of you to share him with his grands….
You are such a good and thoughtful mother.
janet