Without further ado, the collected Dispatches from Parenting:
- My son is the best baby in the history of humanity.
- I have changed over 1 million diapers in 37 hours.
- My wife is way tougher than me!
- Burping ain’t easy, but it’s necessary.
- I’m awake at 4:45am on a Sunday.
- The baby spits up now. I’m no longer safe in my own family.
- Bedtimes are essential in child-rearing. For the parents.
- We need phones that only have vibrate, no ring tones.
- I used to take showers every day.
- How did that get wet?
- I’m so focused on our son, I didn’t even realize that Major League Baseball playoffs have started.
- Waking up is always hardest for the first feeding.
- Is there anything more peaceful than a baby sleeping?
- I haven’t done this much laundry since I was a bachelor.
- The rules for changing a boy’s diaper are almost identical to the rules for handling guns safely.
- Going to bed early on a Friday night.
- Changing diapers is a state of mind.